When I saw him in that fountain... part of me died with him... and was resurrected with him. But I was still in denial - still unable to tell the only person in my life I loved him, tell him everything that needed to be said.

So, I left this time. With Simon. Far away to Sierra Verde. Yeah, I was drawn to her. She was one of my Kind. But part of me always knew - one Sentinel, one Guide, a life long pairing.

Now, after her...he's leaving me again. We're standing here in the loft, our home, and I see he's packed while I was gone to work. Came home early to check on him - this time, I didn't fill the boxes up, didn't tape them, didn't write the contents on them...he did. He's leaving me.

The pain hurt him too bad, hurt him to see me touch her... lust after her. But this time, I couldn't let him go.

"Please, don't go," I whisper. His bright eyes, dull with pain and longing and hurt stare up at me.

He shakes his head, and the curls fly around his shoulders. My bright, beautiful Blair... the only person I've ever loved like this, the only person I could hurt like this.

"Blair, please... please, Blair..." I'm begging. Never thought you'd see the day Jim Ellison could beg, did you? I'll get down on my knees - want me on my knees? "Please don't leave me, Chief."

The headshake again. His full lips are moving, and I finally focus on what he's saying. " - don't need me, Jim," then he pauses, licking his lips. "Never did, I guess."

"Need you. Please, oh please Blair don't do this, please don't do this!" I'm really pleading now, and he stares at me, his eyes wide.

"Jim," he says softly. "I have no reason to stay... you... showed me in Sierra Verde how it really is," and he draws in a shuddering sigh.

"No! No, I didn't! Please, Blair… I... " I don't know what to say, and so I stop.

He smiles up at me, but his heart isn't it in, and I choke. I try again. Gotta try again.

"B-blair... you gotta believe me. I may have been drawn to her - but I didn't love her!" I'm closer to tears now than I was when he was in that damn fountain. "Please, listen to me," I'm back to begging. I'm pitiful.

"What's the difference?" He shrugs. "You wanted her... wanted her!" He's getting angry now.

"Yeah, Chief, I did." I can't lie to him. What would be the point?

He shrugs again, and slowly bends to pick up a box. "Bye, Jim."

"No!" I stand in front of the door. "Please Blair! Listen to me!" He sighs and nods slowly. "Remember, on the beach?"

"How could I forget?" He says sarcastically as he sets the box down.

"Not that! Remember, I asked you to help me? I didn't want to feel that way! I hated it! Like my body was being taken over by, by something - I don't know what!" I'm not making much sense, I don't think, because he's just looking at me. "I didn't want her! I don't want her! Please, Blair, you gotta stay! I want you, want only you..." Some of the words spill out and he looks surprised. So I take a deep breath, and I forge on. "I love you, Blair. Only you. And I want to be with you. You're not only my Guide, you're my lifeline."

His eyes widen slightly, and he looks... well... like... he's really surprised.

He touches me on the face. I touch him on his.

"Really?" He whispers.

I nod. "Really."

He moves forward into my arms, and I hold him tight, hold him close, and I'm babbling, really babbling about how I've always loved him, and was scared to tell him but how this time I was too afraid not to.

He smiles up at me, and strokes my face again, as if to re-assure himself that I'm still here. I bend down and capture his soft lips with mine, and remember something from the temple. "My light." I whisper.

He looks shocked, but nonetheless smiles, and begins to run his hands up and down my back. We maneuver through the piles of boxes and books and go into the small bedroom to where the futon is still made. We look down at it, and then I look in his eyes, silently asking permission. He nods, so we sink down together on the firm mattress, my hands exploring under his many layers of shirts, his hands unbuttoning my shirt.

Finally we lay naked together, just kissing and exploring each other's body.

I feel like we're soaring, everytime his skin brushes mine. Seems like my senses are so fine tuned, so tuned into him, that everything is magnified one-hundred fold. He climbs between my legs, and our cocks brush each other. I groan and he looks delighted. "Take me," I moan. "Take me, make us as one."

Now he really looks delighted. Really, really delighted. His hands stroke my open thighs and his fingers slide easily up and down my ass, one hand groping on a still full shelf, bringing back some kind of oil, and I whimper, as he gets me to turn over for him.

Finally, I'm on all fours, and he's got two fingers inside me, causing me to jerk and moan just from his touch. Soon another joins the first two, and I'm so excited, wanting him so bad. "Please, Blair!"

His hand moves away from me, and I turn over. He protests, but I smile, "Wanna watch you, want you to watch me, want us to see each other loving,"

He nods and lines himself up with me, concentrating. I stare at him as he slides inside me, his face tight with care and worry, and I know I'm laying there with the biggest, goofiest smile . He glances down and laughs. We're both laughing and soon he's all the way inside me.

He stops laughing and strokes my face again. "Only us, Jim."

I nod. "Only us, Blair."

He begins to move inside me and I'm going crazy. His hands, his cock, any part of his body that touches me is like molten lava to my senses, setting me on fire with desire and love and need. Nothing like I've ever felt in my entire life. "Harder, oh God Blair, please harder!"

I'm stroking my cock which is surely harder than it's ever been in my life, and I'm just filled with this overwhelming joy - overwhelming! I see his body moving over me, his strong, sturdy, hairy body bringing me closer and closer to orgasm, and I say it as I come - I say it over and over, "Loveyouloveyouloveyouloveyou!" I'm still saying it as he comes inside me, and he smiles.

"I love you, Jim." He says softly, pulling out of me with a popping noise, then his mouth is moving over mine, and I hold him in my arms, never want to go without him ever again. Please God, never again.

He always said he'd never leave me and he didn't. Close, so close... but he came back to me, and I can never tell him I love him enough. I love him so much.